I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
