I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
