She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
