Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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