I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
