AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
