Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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