we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
