This dress was meant to end up on your floor
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
