STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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