i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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