her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
