That's intense
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
