Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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