You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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