I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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