i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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