He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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