Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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