it hurts more in the daytime
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
