I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
