I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
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