that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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