can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
