I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
