if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's official drugs can't kill me
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
