I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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