so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
