What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
