I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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