i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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