Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
