ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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