.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
