I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she looked like the before picture.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
