NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
