Don't you send me to vm
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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