are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
