My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
