Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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