Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
