did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
