Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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