I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
