I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
