dude i'm inner monologue high
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
