He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
