I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
