Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
