I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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