Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
