now i know why i became what i already was.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
